In Repair

Healing from emotional abuse

Mum

  • And a Happy New Year

    Well what a month! Daughter came home early from uni at the beginning of the month, and we’ve been on the go since then! We had a wonderful festive period, including hotel stays, spas, celebrations, long car rides to spend Christmas with my sister, even LONGER car rides home (more than double the time it Read more

  • Peace, and other animals

    I moved house, and I love it. I’ve been here a month and the peace I’ve been searching for since April is just everywhere. It’s a Work In Progress, for sure, as I gather things as I’m starting from scratch here, but it’s getting there. Still urgently need a table for eating off, and bedside Read more

  • … and we’re moving out. Well, BFF has already moved out, but we have til November to get me out. I’ve found somewhere nice though it’s in the sticks, and I pick up the keys on the 15th. It’s been a long time, I’m sorry about that. Life has been fairly relentless and I’ve been Read more

  • BrainDump

    I’m not really sure where to start, so I’m just going to write. 1. Christmas.It wasn’t great. I – we all – fell into the trap of trying to do a Mum Christmas without Mum, so her presence was very much felt despite us desperately trying to get away from that. She send a gift, Read more

  • So Today I Fucked Up

    Mum emailed me earlier today. I had filters set up on gmail, but not on Thunderbird, so I decided to set up a template auto-response filter. I spent an hour trying to make it work and testing it with my sister, and then my techie partner’s help. When it kept returning errors, I eventually decided Read more

  • Welcome to 2025!

    Christmas was wonderful. I wasn’t hosting, for the first time in many years, and it was great! The whole family went to Stepdad’s, and we all had a wonderful time. I then drove my sister back to her place on the other side of the country – a 4.5 hour journey took over 8, but Read more

  • Different Journeys

    I’ve been staying with my sister for the last week. We’ve done a lot of work on her new house (sorting through boxes, doing tip runs, that kind of thing), some cooking (an excellent hotpot, a roast dinner – her first attempt! – fajitas… we’ve eaten well!), some watching of god-awful films (seriously, if you Read more

  • Metamorphosis

    So I mentioned in my last post that this New York trip was life-changing, but was far too ill at the time to really delve into what that meant. I wanted to note that I’d had a great time, and that I felt differently about myself because of it, but I was dying (and am Read more

  • On Courage

    I’ve been quiet of late, but busy in real life so that’s good. I have exciting news! I’ve been asked to go to New York for a workshop, expenses paid, thanks to the moderating I’m doing. I had to make my mind up quickly as I only had 3 weeks to prepare (if I was Read more

  • Relapse

    I’m struggling a fair bit with thoughts about getting back in touch with Mum. I won’t do it – I have too much self-preservation now to fold when I know I’m not strong enough, but the intrusive thoughts are still there. It’s difficult, because in spite of everything I’m going through, have gone through, and Read more