Mum
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Christmas was wonderful. I wasn’t hosting, for the first time in many years, and it was great! The whole family went to Stepdad’s, and we all had a wonderful time. I then drove my sister back to her place on the other side of the country – a 4.5 hour journey took over 8, but… Read more
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I’ve been staying with my sister for the last week. We’ve done a lot of work on her new house (sorting through boxes, doing tip runs, that kind of thing), some cooking (an excellent hotpot, a roast dinner – her first attempt! – fajitas… we’ve eaten well!), some watching of god-awful films (seriously, if you… Read more
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So I mentioned in my last post that this New York trip was life-changing, but was far too ill at the time to really delve into what that meant. I wanted to note that I’d had a great time, and that I felt differently about myself because of it, but I was dying (and am… Read more
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I’ve been quiet of late, but busy in real life so that’s good. I have exciting news! I’ve been asked to go to New York for a workshop, expenses paid, thanks to the moderating I’m doing. I had to make my mind up quickly as I only had 3 weeks to prepare (if I was… Read more
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I’m struggling a fair bit with thoughts about getting back in touch with Mum. I won’t do it – I have too much self-preservation now to fold when I know I’m not strong enough, but the intrusive thoughts are still there. It’s difficult, because in spite of everything I’m going through, have gone through, and… Read more
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So after FIFTEEN emails, the Ourtime issue has finally been resolved after the final email from me pointed them to their own privacy policy and detailed how they’re breaking it, so finger’s crossed. I had a lovely weekend break with my Cardiff friends – lots of resting and relaxing (and drinking!). We made curry together,… Read more
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It’s my birthday tomorrow. I’m going out for a nice meal with hubby and his mum tonight, which I’m really looking forward to. Then off for a cocktail evening with BFF and daughter at Stepdad’s on the day itself. I’m well and happy, if not a little warm – I’m finding the heat really oppressive… Read more
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I’ve been thinking a lot about why I’m so conflicted and dissatisfied with how my life is going at the moment. I’m not putting in much effort into self-improvement, and I feel like I’m coasting; existing, not living. I’d like that to change. I’d like to be a person I’m proud of, doing things that… Read more
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Fuck you, Mum. I know you’re in the country because you asked my stepdad to ask me if we could meet up (that’s a resounding fucking no). From now on he won’t be passing your messages onto me because I am not fucking interested. Now my daughter – your first grandchild – you haven’t even… Read more
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Mum’s birthday came and went with some upset, but not much. I felt guilty, but I was with my sister and we had a good talk about it, about whose voice that is in my head telling me I should have acknowledged it – my own conscience or my mother’s critical influence – as well… Read more