Mum
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My Mum’s birthday was always a big deal. Every year, I would have massive anxiety about the right gift, the right experience, the correct amount of care and love I showered her with. I experienced a huge amount of anxiety throughout the entire month. By contrast, she has been out of the country for mine… Read more
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How a dress from 20 years ago triggered an epiphany Last night in therapy we talked about the differences between a relationship and enmeshment. How a relationship recognises the other person as their own entity – their achievements and failures, highs and lows, are all their own – whereas with enmeshment they are an extension… Read more
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There have been times in my life where I have not done a lot. Arguably I still don’t some of the time. Some of it is due to being unable to work because of pain levels, and the effects of the medication I have to take to manage it. Some of it is down to… Read more
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I hate conflict, I have for as long as I can remember. The earliest clear memory I have of it is when I was 8 or so, and I met a couple of the neighbour’s kids (who I didn’t know) at the back of our garden. When I inquired as to why the two of… Read more
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It’s a bitch. Today is a particularly bad day, I’m using a stick to navigate the house, and I’m feeling pretty sorry for myself. I have nerve damage in both legs from a nicked sciatic nerve during surgery in 2010 (ruptured ectopic pregnancy, but that’s a whole other post). The facet joints in my back… Read more
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It’s been a tough 6 months. There have been times I’ve wanted to reach out to mum, during tough periods that I know will be difficult for her, but self-preservation has kicked in before my compassion puts me in a situation where I’m drawn back in. My stepdad is finally filing for divorce and, as… Read more
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So here we are. 42 years old, very recently NC from a narcissistic mother with whom a LC relationship wasn’t working for either of us. In my 3 years in therapy – ironically started to deal with my father’s death in 2020, but quickly came to the epiphany that he wasn’t the real problem –… Read more