Mum
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So after FIFTEEN emails, the Ourtime issue has finally been resolved after the final email from me pointed them to their own privacy policy and detailed how they’re breaking it, so finger’s crossed. I had a lovely weekend break with my Cardiff friends – lots of resting and relaxing (and drinking!). We made curry together, Read more
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It’s my birthday tomorrow. I’m going out for a nice meal with hubby and his mum tonight, which I’m really looking forward to. Then off for a cocktail evening with BFF and daughter at Stepdad’s on the day itself. I’m well and happy, if not a little warm – I’m finding the heat really oppressive Read more
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I’ve been thinking a lot about why I’m so conflicted and dissatisfied with how my life is going at the moment. I’m not putting in much effort into self-improvement, and I feel like I’m coasting; existing, not living. I’d like that to change. I’d like to be a person I’m proud of, doing things that Read more
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Fuck you, Mum. I know you’re in the country because you asked my stepdad to ask me if we could meet up (that’s a resounding fucking no). From now on he won’t be passing your messages onto me because I am not fucking interested. Now my daughter – your first grandchild – you haven’t even Read more
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Mum’s birthday came and went with some upset, but not much. I felt guilty, but I was with my sister and we had a good talk about it, about whose voice that is in my head telling me I should have acknowledged it – my own conscience or my mother’s critical influence – as well Read more
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My Mum’s birthday was always a big deal. Every year, I would have massive anxiety about the right gift, the right experience, the correct amount of care and love I showered her with. I experienced a huge amount of anxiety throughout the entire month. By contrast, she has been out of the country for mine Read more
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How a dress from 20 years ago triggered an epiphany Last night in therapy we talked about the differences between a relationship and enmeshment. How a relationship recognises the other person as their own entity – their achievements and failures, highs and lows, are all their own – whereas with enmeshment they are an extension Read more
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There have been times in my life where I have not done a lot. Arguably I still don’t some of the time. Some of it is due to being unable to work because of pain levels, and the effects of the medication I have to take to manage it. Some of it is down to Read more
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I hate conflict, I have for as long as I can remember. The earliest clear memory I have of it is when I was 8 or so, and I met a couple of the neighbour’s kids (who I didn’t know) at the back of our garden. When I inquired as to why the two of Read more
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It’s a bitch. Today is a particularly bad day, I’m using a stick to navigate the house, and I’m feeling pretty sorry for myself. I have nerve damage in both legs from a nicked sciatic nerve during surgery in 2010 (ruptured ectopic pregnancy, but that’s a whole other post). The facet joints in my back Read more