In Repair

Healing from emotional abuse

  • On Growing Up

    My daughter, having waiting 6 months for a property, has been shown (and accepted) a flat. She has 4 days to move out between picking the keys up yesterday and having to be out of where she is now on Monday. It’s all go, and there’s almost no time to think. It’s completely unfurnished, not Read more

  • Relapse

    I’m struggling a fair bit with thoughts about getting back in touch with Mum. I won’t do it – I have too much self-preservation now to fold when I know I’m not strong enough, but the intrusive thoughts are still there. It’s difficult, because in spite of everything I’m going through, have gone through, and Read more

  • A Catch Up

    So after FIFTEEN emails, the Ourtime issue has finally been resolved after the final email from me pointed them to their own privacy policy and detailed how they’re breaking it, so finger’s crossed. I had a lovely weekend break with my Cardiff friends – lots of resting and relaxing (and drinking!). We made curry together, Read more

  • OurTime

    A while ago I had an email addressed to ‘Thomas’ but to my email, from a website called ‘Ourtime’ thanking me for signing up and asking me to click a link to verify, which obviously i did not do because I had not signed up for anything. I assumed that by not verifying, that would Read more

  • Birthdays, and other Animals

    It’s my birthday tomorrow. I’m going out for a nice meal with hubby and his mum tonight, which I’m really looking forward to. Then off for a cocktail evening with BFF and daughter at Stepdad’s on the day itself. I’m well and happy, if not a little warm – I’m finding the heat really oppressive Read more

  • TEN GOALS for the rest of 2024

    I’ve been thinking a lot about why I’m so conflicted and dissatisfied with how my life is going at the moment. I’m not putting in much effort into self-improvement, and I feel like I’m coasting; existing, not living. I’d like that to change. I’d like to be a person I’m proud of, doing things that Read more

  • And Speaking of Anger…

    Fuck you, Mum. I know you’re in the country because you asked my stepdad to ask me if we could meet up (that’s a resounding fucking no). From now on he won’t be passing your messages onto me because I am not fucking interested. Now my daughter – your first grandchild – you haven’t even Read more

  • Follow-Up on Invisibility

    I had some good sleep last night, and am feeling much more like myself today. That is all. Read more

  • Invisibility

    I’m feeling fed up. Admittedly I’ve had a busy, strenuous 4 days (Thurs: 7 hour drive from Canterbury to daughter’s who had a minor medical emergency – she’s fine now – then to mine to cook for my best friend on the eve of her birthday; Fri: All day spent with stepdad doing the final Read more

  • Holiday and Time Away

    Mum’s birthday came and went with some upset, but not much. I felt guilty, but I was with my sister and we had a good talk about it, about whose voice that is in my head telling me I should have acknowledged it – my own conscience or my mother’s critical influence – as well Read more